Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Letter to my brother

My dearest youngest Brother,

To tell you the truth, your transfer in January 2008 came as a surprise. I was not expecting it until later next year or at least the second half of 2008. And to learn from Mother the 'actual reason' (is it?) behind your transfer takes the cake. I would have never imagined.

I would say that all this while you have always been there for Mother, in her time of need. You were there when Angah stirs up some problem a few years back. I remembered how Mother told me that you cried when you are unable to be by Mother's side at that time because of your exams. I was there.

When I talk to Mother a few days back to ask about you, she cried and says that you told her the reason why you applied for a transfer. It was because of us, Angah, Uda and especially me. You told Mother that you can't take the pain of seeing her cry after all the grief that we, your elder brothers, put her through.

Mother says the last straw is when I called Mother the night before Raya, to tell her that I will be driving straight home and not dropping by Mother's house. You thinks that is disrespectful to Mother. Have it ever occurred to you brother, it was only because we don't want Mother to wait for us till the wee hours of the morning. I reached home at 3am. It is selfish of me, to expect Mother to wait up for me, don't you think?

My dearest youngest Brother,

I don't blame you or question your decision on the matter but I do think the timing is a bit awkward. Mother told me, that she remembered how you told her years back, of how you want to be the one to take care of her, and take her wherever you go. Unfortunately, this time around, it seems like that you have deserted her. Have you forgotten about that?

You can be stronger than this, and not taking the easy way out. In these times, you should stay closer to Mother and offer your unconditional love. I know you are an adult now, but believe me, life has just begun. You will be marrying next year, and hopefully have a family soon. Things will get a bit sticky, with extended families and all. Well, one day you'll understand.

Even if you blame me for cementing the decision that you take, I will not blame you and I do believe that life has its own way to settle all problems. And, experience is always the best teacher. You are embarking on a new journey of your own and I still wish the best for you, my brother.

Lots of love,

Your eldest brother.


Marissa said...

My big brother,

Izinkan adik kecilmu ini meluahkan sesuatu. Mungkin minda cetek Meni akan menyokong tindakan adik Abang. I'd been in your brother's shoes before. And trust me.. Its such a painful burden when seeing my mother keep on crying when my big sisters create problems.

Maybe Abang telah lupa, suatu tika dulu... Mak Abang ada datang ke UKM bersama your youngest brother. Di depan mata Meni, kelibat your bro benar mengkagumkan Meni. He's there with your Mum try to find way to find you that time.

Dia nampak bertanggungjawab biarpun sepatutnya anak yang paling kecil tidak seperti itu.

Mungkin dia sudah letih dan lelah. You should respect his decision even once ago he had promise something with you and your mum. I believe dia tidak akan sanggup meninggalkan mak Abang terus macam tu.

Well maybe this time for you, Your Angah and Your Uda can try to give what ever Your Youngest brother did before.

Let him take deep breath before running back in more faster track after this....

p/s: Why dont you guys as his big brothers try to understand him...?

Warm Regards,

Enche Bon said...

Dear Marissa,

If you had really read the post, I have never readily blames him or questions his decision. That decision is wholly his to take. I was conveying what my Mum said to me. Actually, while my mum was crying, I was defending my little brother action and tried to pacify her.

I have never forgotten what he had done for my mother before, but believe me I have done the same for him. I've lied, steal and deceive for him but I wont hold it against him in any way. For me, its good to learn from your own mistake, but its better not to repeat other people's mistake.

Like I said, he already embarked on his own journey, and he'll learn that life is not that easy after all. More responsibilities awaits him and with more responsibility, it gets harder to juggle your role as a son, brother, husband, a simple human being.

Whatever it is, I do love him, just that at times, he needs to control his temper and making rash decisions.

Wishing him, the best of luck.